don't wake me

sometimes everything feels perfect, all the way down to how messed up the sheets on my bed look. then i think. and think. and think. and suddenly i want to rip the sheets apart until i'm left with a pile of thread. it's like a free for all race to the death whenever i have a moment to myself to think about life. life is too short to spend thinking about it, because every time i try and think about it, i just want to die anyway. might as well spend that time doing other things that will kill me eventually.
this whole thing is disastrous. we try and communicate with people who we think are like us, but really no one is like us. that person you think who cares about the same things as you, the one who you could talk to for hours, they made it all up. but so did you. so maybe you're a little alike. flattery isn't flattering.
you want that big house with your man to do it all, and you want that nice kitchen that you'll never use at all, and you want him to be handsome and real tall, but you can't even seem to get out of bed you feel so small. who would want to take care of you? who would want to spend all their time making your life better when it's really ruining theirs? who would even think of writing vows for such a sad face as yours.
you can't even convince yourself to take care of you. just take a second to think about life, and see how it makes you feel. take a stand, and follow through with the feeling this time.